State of the Union Address Sucks
--posted by Tony Garcia on 2/01/2006Last night was yet another State of the Union address. I knew I did not need to watch it. Why? Because I knew that today I would find out that is was exactly the same thing.
The Same Thing Part I
Every year the president gets up in front of Congress and says, "The state of the Union is 'strong'." Every year I think, "What the hell else would he say?" Every year my wife says, "Like he would say anything different."
The process is the same. The President says something and his party acts like a bunch of kids. "Hooray, yeah, blah, blah, blah...yell louder." Sometimes the other party takes this chance to act like a bunch of kids, "Yucky, Yucky, Boo, Boo, We really don't like you."
Then the President says something else and the other party acts like a bunch of kids. "Nanny, nanny, boo, boo, we blocked your bill from getting through...yell louder." And the President's party then acts like a bunch of kids.
What a great display of, I don't know. It is not a great display of anything.
Oh yes, don't forget the other part about the parties acting like kids. "I'm going to scowl, pout, roll my eyes, make faces and sit on my hands if the other side is clapping."
This year it is the Democrats that are forced (by virtue of being the opposition party) of playing the bigger whiner. But it is NOT unique to them at all.
That is the template for every State of the Union event.
Oh yeah, there is also the obligatory, "This is this year's great American that I invited because they collected more recyclable bottles than anyone in a county larger in size than St Louis County but smaller in population while doing handstands. Give a round of applause for this shining example of an American. Oh, and he happens to be in the military."
The Same Thing Part II
This year's State of the Union is also the same thing. Generally the State of the Union is the previous months speeches wrapped up into one giant long (and in the case of Clinton, excrutiatingly longer than long) speech. It is the same crap that has been repeated in the friendly opinion pieces during the previous week.
The only REAL question is "What new terms for old stuff will be presented?" This year's example: Weapons of Mass Murder.
The State of the Union is like what to me the car show is every year. A lot of anticipation for something new and cool. Once you get there it is all the same thing packaged differently. A few new things debuted but they are more of a pipe dream, a "concept", than anything else. Almost from the very beginning you are hoping for the end to happen now.
The difference between the State of the Union and any other speech is that by virtue of hijacking some of the networks there is a bit of a quasi-captive audience.
That, my dear readers, is why you do not need to watch the State of the Union...and why I didn't.
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